Do you mind? I'm trying to take a dump.

I imagine like many of you, my body has a routine that is like clockwork when it comes to taking dumps. My routine just so happens to have me on the crapper late in the morning, after my coffee has digested, but before lunch time. My office has a few men's bathrooms, but only one is a "private" one person bathroom. I choose this bathroom because of the privacy it offers me. There is a lock on the door unlike the other bathrooms which is why I chose to use this place as my "safe haven" for dropping the kids off at the pool.

After I go through my routine of thoroughly cleaning the nasty toilet seat, I begin the long relaxing task of taking a dump while playing games on my iPhone. There is someone who at least three out of the five days a week decides to interrupt this peaceful time. Whoever does this knocks on the door like 58 times, then waits a second, and turns the handle to try to get in. As any person over the age of 6 would do, I have the door locked when I am taking a crap.

I don't know why but it bothers me that this person has to knock so many times before turning the handle to try and enter the bathroom? Do you think someone is going to take a dump (this is pretty much know as the dump taking bathroom) and not lock the door? I never answer when the person knocks, but like clockwork they still try to turn the handle. Do they expect me to yell back to them and let them know I'm pooping?

I think I have two options. I can either yell, "Dude. I am taking a huge dump in here. Come back later!!!" Or I can leave the door unlocked and not answer after they knock and let them open the door only to find me butt naked on the crapper. I am not sure how I am going to handle this, but rest assured this person is going to learn a lesson.